A humorous response

I was reading about a study done by holland today. It was a study about the recent trend in the world where more women are being born and men developing far more feministic traits then normal. And while the article was very interesting the results pretty crazy. I found the responses and comments to be almost histerical. One commentor wanted to remind everyone that god is the creator and that all answers are with him. Well here is one guys' response to that post.

"you appear to want to educate people regarding God�s law. I have learned a great deal and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. For instance, when someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination; end of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

1) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem, is my neighbours, they claim the odour is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

2) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4) Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to The Welsh but not The Scots. Can you clarify?

5) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. I have reported him to the Police but they seem little interested, they say that the CPS would not follow up on it. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don�t agree. Can you settle this?

7) Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know that you have studied these things extensively so I am confident you can help. Thankyou again for reminding us that God is real, eternal and unchanging