Those damn satanists!!

This is a story from a website I found, that has been making me laugh loudly all night!



"Satanists can certainly be a pesky bunch. Not only do they insist on slitting goats all over town and hanging the entrails in a tinsel-like fashion around old abandoned barns, but their people skills are generally limited too. For instance, according to former mayor 'Ken Williams,' some time ago they kidnapped him and made him hide from his first family for approximately three decades.
Honestly devil-people, if you're gonna pull that kind of stuff then you are absolutely not welcome in any traditional society. Go on now – git.
Thirty years ago Ken Williams was named Don LaRose, and he was a podium-thumping preacher-man in New York state. Well apparently that didn't sit well with the New York's vast population of satanists, who he says nabbed him and administered several electro-shock treatments to drive their point home.
At some point the satanists told LaRose he had a choice – either join them or watch his wife and two kids murdered right in front of him.
Williams/LaRose explains his dilemma:
"The choice was to watch my family killed in front of my eyes or go with these people, and I chose instead to run."
He chose neither, and got out of town. He changed his name and went into hiding. Then at some point, as any government protection agency will tell you is a very wise move – he ran for mayor of Centerton, Arkansas in 2001 – and won the office. He says he didn't even remember about his old life until he was for some reason injected by a truth serum.
No details as to why he took the serum – but there are details as to how his almost 30 years in hiding began to fall apart. Williams, perhaps drawn by the deepest regions of his subconscious to his other self, or perhaps because the electro-shocks made him a touch retarded, started an incredibly detailed website about the life and disappearance of Don LaRose – starting with the marriage of LaRose's parents. The wife and two kids that he'd ditched years earlier stumbled upon the site, and wondered why of all the disappearances in the world Williams had decided to focus so intently on LaRose.
Then Bam! Truth serum and what have you. As we said in the beginning – those pesky satanists."