I started the day out, tired as hell. I fell asleep last night reading. Though that does not even describe it! I actually was so tired, but so determined to read, that I was reading with one eye barely open because I did not have enough energy to keep two eyes open. With my hands just laying on the book keeping it open, again because I didn't have enough energy to hold the book. I love to read! But sometimes when I am reading a book, I think i get too obsessed with it for my own good. If I don't take a break from a book, I read it straight through, sometimes in one sitting. I have been trying to take breaks... nadya just broke down my door... anyways, to take breaks and read books leisurely. Though I find when I get close to finishing something I will overtax myself to the point of absolute exhaustion to finish it. Hmm...

Though I digress.

I was tired and working. And I knew I had a lot to do today. I had a front desk meeting scheduled. And then my energy started to build. Some things happened that frustrated me but I tried to let them pass and not linger on them. And my energy built more. It started to get to where I was riding the energy. It was so much I found myself bursting into song, and saying random things that made no sense. I even jumped out to the front desk at one point doing a wave motion with my arms! I was trying to ride it like a bronco horse. Then I got off work, and my mind was so active and filled with so much energy I didn't even remember driving when I got home.

Side note. Earlier I was trying to think of Jack Blacks name. I could not, no matter how hard I pictured his face, no matter how much I focused on him, could not remember his name. It felt like my head was too full of information, and that little info was something that had to be dumped. Like I had to forget Jack Black's name in order to remember something else. I asked Dallin and He told me the name. And now I worry... what did I have to forget to re-remember Jack Black's name? And was it worth losing that knowledge to know his name?

Though I digress once more.

When I got home it was an awesome night and I offered Kyle, my brother, some pizza. Because Liz saved me an entire pizza that was huge. So we ate and then went outside. Dallin joined us while Nadya worked on her computer. Then we were talking and hanging out, and me Kyle decided to sword fight. We did, and it was epic. We fought and coreographed a little fight until well after dark. Until our arms were too sore to go on.

After that I came inside and me and Dallin ganged up on Nadya and mockingly teased her a little bit. And then I was feelig my arm. And my forearm was rock hard from sword fighting and I said "I bet I could crush a can with this forarm, because it's so hard." And Nadya rolled her eyes at me..... She rolled her eyes. That was it, I dashed for my room (more like walked briskly) and grabbed a can... because their's can's in my room. And took it into the kitchen. I then placed it on the ground... and yeah... I CRUSHED THE CAN WITH MY FOREARM!

And then I said I should write about it, so I did. And now I must eat to feed my forearm awesomeness!!!

Seth

I stopped on the fourth floor. It was the one that stood out the most to me. The lines in the number seemed to glow with an inner burn. Like hot coals sitting in the night. The door opened and in front of me lay a valley to my left, with tree's making a wall. To my right was a mountain side, where homes and buildings were carved into it.

The air in front of me began to bend and wave. The movement made a mist that took on the general form of a human. It reached out to me. I imediately became defensive and crouched away. It stopped for a moment, and then it began to dance. It danced with fluid movements of it's body. Like air dancing with purpose. I began to feel something but I was reluctant to feel it. I did not want to feel what this being was trying to convey to me.

It stopped dancing and stood there. And I thought it might be smiling, but I could not see a face, only mist. It held it's arms out in an open gesture. I felt more and more like it was smiling. And then I realized that it was not smiling, it was happy. More than happy. It was love and happy and enjoyment all in one. No mere smile could convey how this being felt. And it was this way because I was here. This emotion that I can not label was due to my being here. I began to cry.

This made the being feel stronger and it jumped to me and embraced me in a hug. It flowed around me whispering in my ear without words. It said "This is because of you! Your presence makes me feel such! Feel this with me!" And I did. My eyes watered again and my chest heaved up, the breath gone from me.

And then I left, and went down the elevator.

And I realized how much emotion I block myself from experiencing.

It has been a long time since my last post. And today I am working the night shift alone, and I am very very bored. And I have enough energy to fill an elephant. So I thought I would post something. But I am not sure what this post is about. So let's explore that for a minute.

This post derived from my having too much energy to contain. And I was very very bored. So this post is about an expression of energy, while having the time and energy to write such a post. So in line with the subject of this post let's continue.

I am answering the phone right now, this moment. I just had a very nice conversation with a girl named stephanie. It amazes me how many girls go gaga when i talk to them on the phone. They melt like hot butter. She told me about her part time job, and how old she is, and where she lives, and how often she works, and that she is recently single and her favorite color is green, with out me asking anything.

Now I just got swarmed by ukrainians. They are funny people, i like them alot. And there are some that are gorgeous. But the one's I like are the ones that are very simple. they don't dress like girls in america that look like them would. They dress simple and plain, and that somehow makes them stand out to me as more beautiful. I'm having a conversation with a ukrainian right now while i type this, and we are making hand signals to try and decern what the other is saying. The funny thing is we are both also talking in our own languages even though neither of us understands eachother. And we are both talking louder and slower. It's fun, like an adventure in communication. The funny part is I am picking up words and their meaning through the conversation. I think I have a good ear for accents and words. The ukrainians that speak english are telling me I have a perfect accent. Maybe they tell everyone that?

One time I became afraid that someone was going to throw hot speghetti at me through the internet, and I feared it would burn me.

Some things are universal. this ukrainian girl is upset with her husband because the converter they have is not working. he is trying to fix the problem and she is getting more upset with him because he's ignoring her anger and trying to fix the problem. So she walked away and he started shruging at me and shaking his head. And we both looked at eachother with this knowing look.. that look? "Fucking women." It was awesome. it's nice to know that women can annoy the hell out of men no matter where or what race you are. And that men can mess things up and not react right to a woman as well. Ha ha.

Oh god it's only been ten minutes since I started writing... i have too much energy!!!

Every time I sit in a bathroom stall I picture in my head punching through the door. And when i sit in a bathroom, i picture balancing a sword on my fingure tips and then thrust it through the door. And when i stand at a urinal I picture breaking the tile's with my head.

I purposefully physically try and put myself in a submissive state, to seem less threatening. I sit lower or slouch so i'm sitting lower or I look at the ground.

Today in a dream someone told me they were coming for me. I wanted to know when. They said soon.

I wonder if vagina's can smoke, I was told today that assholes can drink.

If I had a girlfriend, the tie would be on the bedroom door tonight, and someone would be making noises like a rabbit, i can't promise it wouldn't be me.

what I wrote right above this line made me laugh very hard, picturing me making rabbit noises whilst the sex was a happening.

I'm still laughing

One time a girl asked me if blue balls actually hurts, upon answering a deffinately yes, she then asked why do guys masturbate then. I didn't understand the question. She then clarified. "Why do guys masturbate if they just keep giving themselves blue balls, if it hurts why do you do it?" I laughed for a half hour straight. Silly girls.

Omg I'm laughing again about the rabbit noises.

I'm dying for a smoke....

I can feel the craving coming, it's overwhelming me!!!

okay it passed, but I am thirsty

God I'm thirsty. I really really need a sugary carbonated drink

I really want a diet coke, scratch that, I was a nice burning regular coke

Something that burns on the way down and sticks like syrup. I want something completely unhealthy right now. I want a nice big burger straight from the grill, still dripping with juices boiling from the heat of the flame. I want a coke in a clear glass with ice, and condensation on the outside. And I want to drink it from a straw. Scratch that, I do want it to be a diet coke. But I don't want to run out.

That's one of my fantasy's in life, having an unending supply of soda. To never run out, no matter how much I drink I don't run out. Oh god that sounds awesome!! And it doesn't have to be soda, but some drink with sugar, that never ever runs out, I can drink it forever!!!

I'm thinking about salivating at that thought but that would be too much like Homer.

How funny that america has taken a name so great as Homer, a name known to the world! And devolved it into a rambling bafoon of a man. Blah!!!

I'm going to write a bible that has Seth kill Kane, i'm tired of being portrayed as the pussy third son of adam. "My name is Seth of Adam and Eve. You killed my brother, prepare to die!"

I really need a massage, or however you spell that. God I don't remember ever getting a real one. And my muscles are sore as hell. Oh god!!! Getting a massage while drinking my endless amount of diet coke!!! I think i might salivate after all!

And while getting my massage and drinking my endless diet coke, i will be making rabbit noises!!

OMG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!