Stupid Phrases that Boggle me

"Hey how are you today?"
"Peachy keen jelly bean!"
"......What the fuck does that mean?"
"Um... it means i'm fine...?"
"Why didn't you just say that instead of that retarded phrase that means nothing?"
"Because... I thought I was being cool.. or cute.. or something..."
"Well you were just being stupid... stupid."
"Sorry...."


Has this happened to you? Why do people say stuff like this??? I mean seriously? How can a peach be keen? It's a fruit! And why the fuck are you calling me a jelly bean?? And how does being keen make you fruitish? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

"Are you feeling okay?"
"Oh i'm fit as a fiddle!"
".... in what way are you like a fiddle?"
"Um... i'm fit.. like one?"
"How is a fiddle fit????" XD
"....."

Seriously?? Who came up with phrases like this? Where does a fiddle fit? And how can someone mimic that? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!